There is a joke: Three men went to Heaven after death... brush up my German. Three men, dead, kaput, went to Heaven – foreigner German. Saint Peter asked them, “What do you want?” Each one was given a wish. The first man said, “In my last life, I was not so smart. In my next life, if I am reborn on Earth, I want to be smarter, say, a thousand times smarter.” [Saint] Peter said, “Alright. You lived a good life; you were a nice, good man. You’ll get a thousand times more IQ.” Wonderful, good! So he went back to Earth.
Ah, so it is good. Six hundred is cheap (Yes.) for a large three-room apartment, and also next to the airport. But it’s nice. He told me the area is not so nice, but it is, isn’t it? (The air here is not so good, so people don’t want to come here. That’s why the rent is so cheap.) Oh, do not want to come here?
What kind of industry is here? (Steel industry, Thyssen.) Oh, metal. But there’s no smoke or what? (Yes, there is.) The smoke from the steel is not a problem, is it? Ah, chemicals. Does anyone have problems with it? (No.) But it is very far from here, isn’t it? (Not so far, on the other side of town.)
That makes it feel warmer, right? Warm feeling. No wonder, when I come here, I feel very warm. There is also the positive side. Then you no longer need a fireplace. The air is quite warm. Summer is hot too. (It’s OK, not too hot.) Not so hot? Because of the chimney.
(There’s a supermarket across the street with lots of fruits and vegetables, and they’re really happy since we’ve been here. They always say we are good. The wife always says, “You’re good.” I say, “How do you know that?” “Yes, you always come here. You are good.” I always bought so many vegetables and fruits there.) Most of them always bring that with them. Shopping for Master every day.
Can you see from there? It’s OK? (Yes. OK.) I’m sorry that it’s not bigger. It cannot be big enough. (Yes.) The room can never be big enough. No matter what room. So many Aulacese (Vietnamese) and Chinese, not so many Germans.
It’s so nice to have peace and quiet. But the air is not so good? This is what people say? (We don’t notice it. We feel good when we come here. That’s what people say. I never thought of it that way. But for us ...) This can be measured. There is such a measuring device. You can measure how polluted the air is. You can know. But maybe it’s not so dirty, otherwise the government would have shut down this industry already. There is a limit for air [pollution]. (Standard.)
So why do you live here? Born here? Went to school here? Still? (Nearby here.) Nearby. She looks so pretty. She looks pretty, so, that means the air is not so bad. My God! Thank God I come only once a year. My God! This kind of thing is not good in the long run.
It’s OK, it’s OK. I don’t need anything, just fun. Soya strawberry... Ope! Sorry. I’m sorry. Oh, it hurts. Mineral water. Good idea! Do you need some water? Very quickly, and then we’ll have sweets with you. Oh, just like that? Voila! Thank you.
Aren’t there any questions? Anything? Your tongues are all stiff. So I have to warn you, my German is not so good. Haven’t spoken it for a long time. (But nice.) That also works. It’s still good? A little. I can’t speak that quickly. (We have time.) It’s OK. You understand everything as long as I say something blah blah blah, whether in Chinese, Aulacese (Vietnamese) or African.
There is also a German- speaking person with me, but I don’t have time to talk to him. He does his translations, and I do my translation – translations for the animal-people, for my animal-people. We don’t always have time to talk, not every day. We can’t meet every day or anything like that – a lot of work.
Is everything OK with you guys? (Yes.) Not too much work? No? Unemployed? Someone told me everybody here is unemployed. No, huh? (No.) Nobody? Some. Why unemployed, no work? (Too old.) Old is not unemployed. (No, too old for my job.) What kind of job do you have? (Camerawoman.) Camerawoman?! (Yes.) Are you too old for that? (I did it for 24 years, then it was over. It’s too heavy.) Ah, carrying the camera, the video camera. Of course, that’s already hard. Are you a camerawoman by profession? (Yes.) Good. But why are you standing there? That one is not professional. (I don’t want to take his job away.)
It’s OK. It’s alright. OK, no problem. You came very quick! Came so quickly. (Yes.) You came so quick from London? (We came... When did we come?) (This morning.) (This morning.) This morning? (Yes.) Wow. No, you didn’t have to come. We have a camerawoman here.
You know, in the video business, they always say cameraman, cameraman. They never say camerawoman. It’s tough. All are men – chefs, cooks also. Chefs are all men. Pilots, also men. Presidents, also men! Masters, also men. Now there’s only one female Master in the whole world. I am so proud of this. Are you also proud of this? (Yes!) There is only one female Master, and you got Her. (Yes!) It is nice, right? (Yes!) I was also a man before, in my previous lives. It didn’t go that well. A woman is better.
There is a joke: Three men went to Heaven after death... brush up my German. Three men, dead, kaput, went to Heaven – foreigner German. Saint Peter asked them, “What do you want?” Each one was given a wish. The first man said, “In my last life, I was not so smart. In my next life, if I am reborn on Earth, I want to be smarter, say, a thousand times smarter.” [Saint] Peter said, “Alright. You lived a good life; you were a nice, good man. You’ll get a thousand times more IQ.” Wonderful, good! So he went back to Earth.
And the second man said, “One thousand is not enough for me. I want ten thousand times more intelligence.” Can you understand, African? So, Saint Peter said, “OK! Ten thousand times more.” And then he went back to Earth, was born again, ten thousand times more intelligent. Then the third man wanted to be a million times smarter. So, Saint Peter made him a woman.
Can’t you understand? Already good, women. Yes, really, yes. As a woman, you don’t need to shave every day. It hurts, doesn’t it? No, it doesn’t hurt? (A woman must also pluck eyebrows...) You don’t have to pluck every day. Once a month isn’t so bad, is it? You don’t need to pluck either. He doesn’t do it, doesn’t need to. Or someone who shaves doesn’t need to pluck every day. My God, she complains so much. Only a few hairs and she complains! No, that’s nice. A good joke.
What, is there anything else? Eat again? (Not again.) It’s OK. I’m going for dinner now. Is there a vegetarian (vegan) restaurant here? Vegetarian (Vegan) hotel? Is there a hotel? There’s none? Or where do you live then? (Here.) Up here? Are there some guest rooms? (Yes.) I just need a small one, so small. OK. Then it’s fine.
But doesn’t that bother you? (No, on the contrary.) (We feel honored.) OK, I’m just worried that you don’t have enough room. If I take one away, you’ll have no more, one less. (We have enough space here.) Enough space? (Yes.) Until today now, but ... (No, the whole week. As long as You want.) Yeah, we’ll see. What is this? Mango? (Mango.) Very good.
